For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mama.
As a little girl I loved my babies, playing house and dreaming about one day being a mom. And now I am. To my two darling girls. And while "playing house" in the grown up world includes paying bills, doing the dishes, and numerous other frustrations...being a mom has brought me my lifes greatest joy.
I still catch my breath sometimes when I look at the two of them.
Or when I get to say sentences like, "The girls and I went here today..." or "The girls were so cute when..." They make me so very happy.
I've been thinking about that a lot recently...how happy they make me. Perhaps it is because I am approaching my last week of maternity leave and know that these precious days are limited. Perhaps it's because I'm just sentimental like that. Perhaps it is because they are both at really fun stages right now. And perhaps it's because that's how all mama's feel when they look at their little loves. Such pure and true happiness.
My Charlotte
...first of all, when did you get so big?
...i love your independance in anything and everything ("My do it!"), even when it takes us 10 times longer to accomplish a task.
...i love your morning snuggles. Your arms wrapped around me with a huge smile on your face, and your writhling little body cozying up under the covers when you get to crawl in bed with me and daddy.
...you are such an observer. Everywhere we go I see you looking at and examining the people around you.
...i love how goofy you are.
...you have an incredibly tender heart. You are very concerned whenever you think someone is sad or hurt (you started crying the other day when we gave Max some ear drops and he flinched, because you thought he was hurt.)
...do you know how my heart leaps when you say, "Sing with me mommy!"
...you are SUCH a good big sister and helper
...your mind and imagination are such a delight to witness. The world of make believe is such a lovely place...thank you for bringing me there with you.
My sweet bunny girl.
My Madeleine
....seriously, HOW did we get so lucky to have such a good baby? That sounds bad kind of, a good baby?...as opposed to what, a bad baby? There is no such thing as a bad baby, but I guess I just mean, how did we get such a mellow, content, happy baby?! You bless us little one.
...i love nursing you.
...i love the smell of your head.
...i love they way you hold your little hands in fists, the same way Charlotte did.
...i love our afternoon snuggles and naps.
...i love how you are starting to find your hands.
...i love how you smile at me.
...i love your froggy leg kicks.
...i love that you are starting to find your voice.
My little dove.
My girls.
I hope you always know how much you are loved.
I hope you know that leaving you in a week will be one of the hardest things for me to do.
I hope you know that, if I could, I'd be with you everyday. (okay...maybe that's a stretch...let's be honest here...but I'd be with you more than reality allots for)
I hope you know that I will treasure having Fridays off with you for 3 more months. And I'll make it worth it.
I hope you know my goal is to make that permanent, at some point in the future.
I hope you know I value my career and the women I work with.
I hope you know that this time with you will be stored and cherished in my heart for always.
And I hope you know how very, very happy you make me.
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