Thursday, March 17, 2011

So here's the thing...

There are easy weeks, and there are hard weeks.

This week fell in the category of the latter above described weeks.

And it's hard, because for me I want my blog to focus on all the wonderful and truly meaningful aspects of our lives. I don't want to write about the days that are tough...the times there are tears...or the struggles I feel.

But then again, maybe I do?

Because if this is truly my outlet for sharing our life, to "document life and to reflect" as my bio says...when I reflect, there is no denying the fact that this week was tough. And I do think in sharing, and reflecting, and speaking the truth...well, I think there is something healing in that.

Our little miss suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere, came down with a case of croupe this Sunday. And let me tell you, if you've heard a little one with a cough that sounds like the bark of a seal eager for some food, you know how heart breaking of a sound it is.

Long story short, we ended up at Children's Hospital. If it would have been a week day we could have just gone to the doctor, but being the weekend and in the evening, the emergency room was our only option (and the recommendation of the on-call nurse). After four hours, some steroids (to reduce the swelling of her throat) and some tylenol...we were on our way home. A rather painless first trip to the emergency room compared to what so many families deal with...but still, it was our first time...and I can't say I loved it.
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Cue the re-arranging of schedules.
Thankfully Nick's practice allows him the flexibility of staying home at times more easily than I can, assuming he doesn't have court. So he stayed with her at the beginning of the week while she healed. And as much as I am so thankful for a husband and daddy who happily stays home to take care of his girl...I wanted to be with her.
And I was upset that I wasn't.
And I didn't want to go.

Yes, there were tears to my sweet co-worker when she asked if I was okay.
Because no, at that moment I wasn't.
At that moment, I wanted to be home with my girl.

It's hard to write that because I know how blessed I am in the career I have. I love my job.
I love my boss and my co-workers. I love what it brings to my life. I love the sense of accomplishment it brings to me. I am truly, truly thankful.

But, as I mentioned,...there are easy weeks, and there are hard weeks.

I think and I assume this is something that working moms deal with daily. The push and the pull. And this week I just struggled more with finding my balance.

Even as I write this, I realize that my hard week is absolutely nothing compared with the hard week that the thousands of families in Japan have experienced. It is impossible to imagine the devastation they are experiencing and my heart goes out to them.
It certainly puts life in perspective...

I'm feeling happy that tomorrow is Friday...and looking forward to a weekend of restoration, and cuddles, relaxation, and healing.
And because I can't leave a post without some positivity, I share with you with some happy pictures from last weekend with family and a 90th birthday celebration.
How's that for perspective?!
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Closer and closer to crawling...

4 comments:

Lauren K said...

I love your honesty Court! I saw Nick last night and he said almost the exact same thing. I'm glad your first visit to Children's was painless. Happy Friday! I hope Charlotte has a speedy recovery.

Kris said...

Love you Corks! Your post made me teary - how scary to go through that with baby Char. You are amazing for being able to pull off being an amazing mom and have a great career at the same time. You are such a role model and I imagine in a couple years I will be struggling to do the same. I love you!

Erin said...

Court - you are such a wonderful writer. Your honestly and emotion is evident in each post and I love that about you.
I'm so sorry that you had to make your first (and hopefully last) trip to Children's this week, but thankfully your girl came out on top and is better.
Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow! xoxo

Michelle said...

You are a wonderful mama! I am in awe of you every day! It will only get better, love you! :)