My little dove.

Funny how nicknames start, isn't it?
I'm not sure where it came from, or how it stuck...but this little one is now officially, my little dove.

4 months old

 

Which seems perfect really as doves are often symbols of love and peace. And I can hardly think of two words to better describe her sweet spirit.

 

This sweet little spirit who has Persistent Ductus Arteriosus.

Let me explain...

 

At her four month well baby check up, our incredible pediatrician heard something abnormal with her heart. Since he wasn't sure what it was he referred us to a cardiology specialist at Children's Hospital. Our check up was on a Friday and we had to wait until Monday to get the referral and make the appointment, so to say it was a long weekend would be a gross understatement.

 

The not knowing what is or may be wrong with your child is all consuming.

Thankfully we were able to get in right away at Children's, and after some more testing, listening and a long echogram, the dr. was able to determine that she has PDA.

Basically it means that she has an extra vessel that didn't close up after birth, as it normally does. The way I understand it is that then more blood flows through the lungs and back to the heart, which makes one of her chambers (the bottom left one) work harder than it needs to and become enlarged. So the opening has to ultimately be closed up.

The good news? It's treatable and we know what the issue is.

 

So, we could be looking at surgery at some point in the future. Which is scary. Because no matter how often they perform these same surgeries...or how common or uncommon her condition may be...it's still my little dove they may be working on, and it weighs heavy on my heart.

 

That said, we are feeling cautiously optimistic. Children's Hospital is a world class facility so I know we are in the best hands possible. We feel so thankful to live where we do and have access to such incredible health care. She will remain under their careful watch on a monthly basis to continue monitoring her heart and eventually determine how it will all play out. 

And until then we will continue loving on our girl...and sending up lots of prayers.
As my sweet Papa wrote in a card to us:
"The power of prayer will work wonders!"

I believe it will.
xoxo

Springtime...I see you coming...

via

A couple of Saturday's ago (yes, I'm still working on this whole staying caught up thing...) this was Seattle to a T. After days and days of rain and grey, the sun came out to visit. And though it was still quite frigid, I think we all breathed in a huge sigh of relief in knowing that Spring is on it's way. The days are longer and we can all pat ourselves on the back for making it through another Seattle winter.

We spent the weekend catching up with friends at the park...

 

Chasing bubbles from the Bubble Man (Seattle-ites...have you seen this guy? 50% awesome/50% crazy)...

Getting some much needed yard maintenance done while soaking up a little Vitamin D...

 

and cheers-ing and loving on our special buddies.

 

And just because I can't do an entire post without some pictures of this little dovie girl...

 

Springtime...we are oh so ready for you!







Life Lately.

So... I'm a bit behind.

 

As in, like a month behind.

Things like getting back to work, a slow old computer, a fast new yet confusing computer, learning our new groove... all make the list of excuses as to why I haven't been here.

And the thing with getting behind on your blog, is that when you finally find the time to sit down and write, it feels like you need to recap and catch up and explain where you've been and what you've been doing.

Which is hard. So many fleeting moments and thoughts of "Oh, I want to write about that" or "Remember this moment...this is a good one to document" and "Here's something I've been thinking about..."

 

But all those little moments just meld together and you're left looking at a month's worth of pictures and memories wondering where to begin.

 

So instead of wondering, I will just begin.

 

Our past weeks? Here is what they leave me feeling:

 

I love these girls something fierce.

I love Nicholas even more today than I did when I married him.

Even on days when he is driving me nuts.

Charlotte is hilarious and makes me belly laugh every day.

I think Madeleine has an old soul. Her eyes say so much to me.

I hate colds.

I love my family.

I love my friends.

Some days are really hard.

Some days things it all seems to fall into place.

Life is beautiful.

Life is good.

 

 

 

A trip to the zoo to see the new baby lion cubs.

3 months old

A long weekend in Walla Walla

 

The way her little hand makes this fist.

 

 

Bathtime helper.

 This face. In my old dress.

 

Friday play dates.

 

Yep, that about sums it up.  

My girls.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mama.

As a little girl I loved my babies, playing house and dreaming about one day being a mom. And now I am. To my two darling girls. And while "playing house" in the grown up world includes paying bills, doing the dishes, and numerous other frustrations...being a mom has brought me my lifes greatest joy.

 

I still catch my breath sometimes when I look at the two of them.

Or when I get to say sentences like, "The girls and I went here today..." or "The girls were so cute when..." They make me so very happy.

 

I've been thinking about that a lot recently...how happy they make me. Perhaps it is because I am approaching my last week of maternity leave and know that these precious days are limited. Perhaps it's because I'm just sentimental like that. Perhaps it is because they are both at really fun stages right now. And perhaps it's because that's how all mama's feel when they look at their little loves. Such pure and true happiness.

 

 

My Charlotte

...first of all, when did you get so big? ...i love your independance in anything and everything ("My do it!"), even when it takes us 10 times longer to accomplish a task. ...i love your morning snuggles. Your arms wrapped around me with a huge smile on your face, and your writhling little body cozying up under the covers when you get to crawl in bed with me and daddy. ...you are such an observer. Everywhere we go I see you looking at and examining the people around you. ...i love how goofy you are. ...you have an incredibly tender heart. You are very concerned whenever you think someone is sad or hurt (you started crying the other day when we gave Max some ear drops and he flinched, because you thought he was hurt.) ...do you know how my heart leaps when you say, "Sing with me mommy!" ...you are SUCH a good big sister and helper ...your mind and imagination are such a delight to witness. The world of make believe is such a lovely place...thank you for bringing me there with you. My sweet bunny girl. My Madeleine ....seriously, HOW did we get so lucky to have such a good baby? That sounds bad kind of, a good baby?...as opposed to what, a bad baby? There is no such thing as a bad baby, but I guess I just mean, how did we get such a mellow, content, happy baby?! You bless us little one. ...i love nursing you. ...i love the smell of your head. ...i love they way you hold your little hands in fists, the same way Charlotte did. ...i love our afternoon snuggles and naps. ...i love how you are starting to find your hands. ...i love how you smile at me. ...i love your froggy leg kicks. ...i love that you are starting to find your voice. My little dove.   My girls. I hope you always know how much you are loved. I hope you know that leaving you in a week will be one of the hardest things for me to do. I hope you know that, if I could, I'd be with you everyday. (okay...maybe that's a stretch...let's be honest here...but I'd be with you more than reality allots for) I hope you know that I will treasure having Fridays off with you for 3 more months. And I'll make it worth it. I hope you know my goal is to make that permanent, at some point in the future. I hope you know I value my career and the women I work with. I hope you know that this time with you will be stored and cherished in my heart for always.   And I hope you know how very, very happy you make me.